The 10 Commandments of a One-Night Stand.
There are many reasons why people opt to have a one night stand. Besides ensuring that their single status remains intact, many people like the excitement, the feeling of being needed and desired, and getting in touch with a part of their inner-being that they may have lost touch with. Whatever the reason, one should always make sure that they and their partner enjoy the experience.
It's OK to do it.
First of all, make sure it's what you want. If you've decided ‘yes', and your partner agrees, then jump right in! Many people, particularly women, feel that they shouldn't go this route because it wasn't always socially acceptable, someone might find out, or they will be looked at differently. While one should feel free to do it, it does not make sense to try if it'll bring you down. Regret doesn't look good on anyone.
Be honest and upfront
You've decided that you want a one-night stand, and since there is another person involved, it is vital that you let her/him know upfront what your intentions are. If you don't, you're being unfair. Do unto others...
It's OK to not want anything more than a one-night fling. Not everyone wants or needs a committed companion, or is looking for that "one". If you don't want to be serious, and you just want a date that turns into sex, say so. If the person isn't into it, then fine.
But, as a follow-up to commandment 1, be honest with yourself too. If it is a
one-night stand, there is a good chance that this won't be a relationship, so try to keep all of your feelings out of it. This is just about two people getting together for a little fun, without any involvement outside of the one night.
This is a one-night thing, with someone who you have no connection with. So, go with your fantasies, experiment, and have fun. But, make sure the person you're with understands what you want. Respect their boundaries, and ensure they respect yours.
People sometimes feel more willing to engage in new positions, fantasies etc... because they are being done in a night where everything is on the table, with no commitment. Casual sex gives us the freedom to step outside of our usual boxes.
Be adventurous, but...use protection
Using protection will help you enjoy your experience without worry of unwanted consequences (STI, pregnancy). Your physical and emotional health are important. Always use barrier protection (condom), and always have a supply. No matter how much you are in the heat of the moment, make sure both of you are safe.
Even though this is a one-night thing, and there is no emotional attachment, you should always have respect for the person you're with. Remember, do unto others...
If your buddy's been drinking too much, don't take advantage or pressure them. Keep them safe until they get home the next morning - let them sleep off the drink. And, always take the time to enjoy the other person. Enjoy the foreplay, their body, their smell, and let them know.
Stay all night
Even though it's a one-nighter, and it's tempting to leave after you've had sex, you likely don't need to. You might wish to stay the night, because even though you both know that this isn't going anywhere, and you've agreed that there is no commitment or emotion, staying the night shows respect and won't make your partner feel like garbage.
End the evening, or morning, appropriately and politely.
Now that both of you are staying together after, you will eventually leave in the morning, or the other will leave. Make sure the trip home is safe (taxi fare). It'll help with the exit, and get him/her out of your space a little quicker with no grief. Thanking your partner for a fun night is probably a nice touch.
So, you've followed Commandment #2, and things are going well. You both know what the night is; don't get all feely by taking an interest in their personal stuff, or offer to stay longer than the night. Don't promise to text or call if you have no intention. It just hurts. Things could get confused and no one wants that.
And, if there is any anxiety on anyone's part, be kind enough to recognize it and deal with it. It'll make the night go smoother and everyone will be happier in the end. At the end of it all, just let the person know, for real, that you enjoyed yourself and it's time to go.
Be open to the possibilities of more
Even though it's a one-night stand, don't completely shut the door on more just yet. A one-night stand can be more if you two find that you really connect. Sometimes someone isn't Mr. Right, but they make a pretty good Mr. Right Now. If you both aren't interested in a long-term commitment you might decide a friends with benefits arrangement might be a good fit for all parties.
Make sure you're both getting something out of it.
Many people, women for the most part, don't have one-night stands because there is no real thrill in it for them. Women tend to want to make sure that their partner is happy and satisfied with the encounter, ignoring their own needs. Men, on the other hand, tend to just want to be there to get what they need out of it. If you're a woman, satisfy your partner, but don't let him or her ignore you. And, if you're a man, the same goes. It may only be one night, but it should be a spectacular experience for all parties.