‘Discreet’ and ‘Encounter’
does it mean Without Commitment?

In the context of a discreet encounter, that makes perfect sense. After all, there is nothing more important when considering a no strings hookup than discretion. You don’t want to meet with someone who is going to flash your name on Facebook, with all the details of your affair.

What you’re looking for in a discreet encounter is a no strings attached, no commitments rendezvous with someone who feels the same way; someone who isn’t looking for the long-term love of their life but instead is seeking the thrill of the new conquest. After all, relationships and marriages invariably fall into predictable patterns over time. The excitement of a new affair is gone and is replaced with the mundane day to day activities that make up a lot of life.

Discreet online dating allows people to find people with whom they can have an erotic encounter, no strings attached, and with all the excitement that they are seeking.

Does a Discreet Encounter Mean No Strings Attached?

The word ‘discreet’ implies no strings. A man or woman who is looking for a discreet encounter is seeking the rush that comes with a new connection; an encounter without the emotional entanglements of a permanent relationship.

A discreet encounter is desired for the excitement that comes with an affair: the heightened nerves, the tingling to the ends of one's fingertips, the glorious, nervous, stimulating anticipation of discovering someone new and taking that encounter to the limits of pleasure.

Adult dating sites are a common way to arrange no strings hook ups because most men and women on a site like Ashley Madison are looking for a similar experience. It’s the nature of the beast: no strings, no drama, nothing personal. Just the pure pleasure that comes from what feels like a chance meeting but evolves into an experience without parallel in the world of everyday relationships.

Why Are People Interested in Discretion for their Rendezvous?

There are any number of reasons that someone might be interested in discretion when it comes to a rendezvous. The most obvious reason that a person would seek a discreet hook up is that they are in a relationship or already married to someone else but are looking for an erotic encounter with someone new. Long term relationships and marriages can be solid and gratifying but they are not always exciting, as the years go by. When boredom sets in, it can be more productive to have an affair rather than impact a relationship that has many other wonderful qualities to it and is in itself worth preserving.

Often, long term committed couples are interested in spicing up the eroticism of their sex lives by adding someone to their twosome, if only for a single night of wild abandon. It’s a part of fantasy and role play that many people are interested in but aren’t sure where or how to find the other person. A discreet dating site will attract those individuals who are interested in a similar encounter, and everyone can rest easy knowing that they can have their open-minded experience behind closed doors, away from anyone else’s prying eyes.

There are, of course, other reasons that people look for discretion in a rendezvous. Single people who want to experiment sexually but cannot do that within their social circles, for example. A man or woman who wants to engage in certain sexual proclivities but cannot bring him or herself to approach someone within their existing circle of friends might look to a more discreet approach and use the resources of an online dating site to find someone who is interested in the same things. The discretion of a site like allows that person to find a no strings hook up, without advertising to the world what they are up to.

Ultimately, a person who wants to experience a no strings attached encounter, with all the sexual tension and excitement that comes with an adult hook up but none of the commitment of a relationship will find all that they desire in a discreet sex dating site.

Where Can You Find a No Strings Attached Encounter?

In days gone by, the only ways to find a one night stand were through an escort, or an old-fashioned nightclub crawl. Soliciting the services of an escort can be no strings, but comes with clear risks that can compromise discretion. Showing up alone, dressed to kill and ready for anything. But that method always came with risks: what if you saw someone you knew? What if someone you knew saw you and reported back to your husband or wife? What if? What if? The excitement of the search could easily be drowned out by the threat of discovery—though for some people, that threat was erotic too.

Dating agencies came along that allowed people to sign up and be matched up with other people, but this technique was really targeted to individuals who were single. Anyone who was looking for a discreet encounter wasn’t necessarily going to find a person who was interested in a no strings hook up or discrete affair. The point of these agencies was to help people find that person they were going to marry and have kids with, not kick up a person’s married dating life. Discrete sex dates weren’t the point at all.

Then came online dating sites. Like the agencies that preceded them, they were all about creating a monogamous pair bond between two previously unconnected people. But what about those who wanted something different? Who were looking for discrete online dating options that didn’t necessarily lead to love, marriage and a baby carriage? There was no place, before for those people to find someone with whom they could carry out a discrete affair or sex dates without risking discovery by people who knew them.

Finding your tribe, the people who get you and who understand that your need for an erotic rendezvous is a private affair, is easier now than it ever has been before.

How do Discreet Encounters Work, Online?

Meeting someone online with the hopes of engaging in a discreet encounter is just like regular online dating except both people come to the table with the same expectations: an erotic hook up with no strings attached.

  • It’s a question of finding someone whose profile states that they are looking for the same thing you are. From there, online chats lay the groundwork to see if you are compatible in what you are seeking. A telephone call might follow, where your discussions run to all the things you are interested in giving and receiving as part of your encounter.
  • If all goes well with your call, you will meet in person. Perhaps with the intention of taking your encounter to its ultimate conclusion, or perhaps just for a drink, but always with the thought in the back of your mind that this could be the right person for the erotic adult hook up you’ve been seeking.
  • A drink leads to dinner, or perhaps straight to the shared experience you were both looking for, a discreet encounter without commitment, without strings but with all the benefits.

What Draws People into Discrete Encounters?

There are many reasons why a person might be drawn to the idea of a discrete encounter. Both married men and women are often attracted by the sexual/physical components of an affair, though communication and flirting can also provide a mutual lift in self-esteem that may be lacking within the confines of the marriage.

Singles are often more interested in sexual experimentation, without the social consequences of being seen as promiscuous, within their circles. Maintaining discrete relationships with people who are not part of one’s normal circle of friends allows a person to explore another side of themselves, without fear of reprisal; in essence, to become someone else, to play a role. There is a lot of excitement tied to that notion and ultimately, it isn’t a question of shame, but rather one of privacy.

It may seem contradictory to say that there is more privacy in a discrete encounter than in a regular relationship, but if you think about it, it makes perfect sense. With a discrete encounter, you have two (or more) people who have come to a point in whatever relationships they are in where they feel that they want to experiment or simply to feel more than what they are feeling in their current situation. Everyone engaging in a discrete encounter or affair is coming to the table with the same interests and desires, and likely with a similar need to keep their actions private.

Whether married, committed or single, a private affair or encounter isn’t out of the ordinary or odd and those who seek them out do so to fulfill a need that can’t be satiated elsewhere. It’s human nature to seek thrills where none otherwise exist; for some people, that includes sexuality and dating, with no strings attached!

A Brief History of Discreet Encounters

From the mythology of the Greek Gods to Lancelot and Guinevere to Henry the VIII and Anne Boleyn, history and its tales have been replete with examples of adulterous loves.

More recent times saw some very indiscrete encounters, including Prince Edward, who briefly became king and then gave up his throne for Wallis Simpson. The pair met while she was married and while she did subsequently divorce her husband, their relationship prior to that point was cause for a lot of public controversy.

You would think that a celebrity or well-known public figure might be dissuaded from even a discreet encounter, for fear of the reprisals, but the reality is that they are a part of human nature. In fact, a study conducted in the 1950s by Alfred Kinsey showed that 50% of American men and 26% of American women were interested in extramarital sexual encounters. That was in the 50s! The numbers from a later survey differ, reporting that up to 18% of people had have had extramarital sex—one night stands—or affairs.

Monogamy is a social construct, one built to protect wealth and status from one generation to the next, and forged on the basis of religious doctrine. But you can’t ignore your baser, more animal nature any more than you can ignore your need to eat and sleep. Human sexual nature is designed to ensure that we procreate and to do so, for the good of the species, with more than one partner. Just because we’ve found ways to stop the procreation part doesn’t mean that the sexual urges don’t remain as part of our human nature!

Whether a series of discreet sexual encounters or a one night stand, having an affair is often not about the other person in the marriage. It’s far more complex and intricate, but nonetheless an important part of human sexual behaviour.

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